Good Intentions…

We all know that saying about good intentions. I’ve ended up in my own personal hell. I’ve let myself down and failed not just me, but my family as well. Why? You may ask. Well it’s because I started this journey to a better me with all of the best intentions. I didn’t only want to change my lifestyle, I needed to. So what have I done? Pretty much nothing. Food plan’s gone out the window, exercise is just a joke. While depression wise I feel fanfuckingtastic, best I’ve felt in years – everything else, not so much. So what am I going to do about it? Kick myself in the arse a few times, put on my big girl panties, drink a cup of concrete and harden the fuck up!

We slip. It’s a fact of life. I’m not playing the blame game here though – it’s my fault. I need to hold myself accountable. So I’m going to. I want to be healthy so bad. I have to do it. So for the rest of the week, it’s re-asses my goals and back into re-focusing on my journey.

Here we go!

Neata

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If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me!

Sooooooo just putting it out there for the world to see. I’m kinda fat. You know overweight; pudgy; rotund; carrying a spare tire; oh and I have a bit of a muffin top. I could stand to lose about 35kgs. That puts my weight at about 100kgs give or take, well give, a few hundred grams. I don’t just need to lose weight, I need to change how I look at life; food; and myself. I’m a bit of a negative Nelly when it comes to what I think about me. I’m getting there though, so lets just call me a “work in progress”

Monday is the day for it all. Monday I start on the Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation. This isn’t just about exercise. It’s about knowing how to eat, how to change the way you think about food and exercise and more importantly how you approach these things and your own self worth. She really sets you up to change. She gives you all the tools to succeed, but she doesn’t hold your hand. You are responsible for being honest and upfront with yourself. Hell, it’s you that you’re letting down if you cheat on your diet.

So one of the things I plan on doing over the 12 weeks is finding something good in everyday. Some days may be big, some days may be small but there’s always good in every day. This is about being healthy – mind; body; and soul.

Neats

French Parents Don’t Give In: 100 parenting tips from Paris. Written by Pamela Druckerman

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Recently I was given the opportunity to review a book for the Child Health Association Tasmania. Having a child with Autism, the title “French Parents Don’t Give In: 100 parenting tips from Paris” kind of appealed to me. So while I was waiting for my son at one of his therapy sessions I thought to myself “Hey, it might be a good time to start reading”. Well in the 45 minutes I was waiting I’d read the book (I’m a quick reader, but not that quick). The book was short. It was also to the point. It also eased my mind. I am not a mean parent!

The book is broken into the various parts of parenthood that’s important when it comes to young children. Starting at pregnancy and covering that baby stage it takes you through to preschool years, giving you strategies for sleep; food; learning; patience; and authority. It reinforces the importance of having your own identity as a mother not just for your sake, but for your child and their independence. It reiterates that to have a happy; healthy; and well adjusted child, Mum needs to show this to her children.

Pamela Druckerman writes in a style that appeals to all readers. Her short, to the point, tips allow the reader to not feel threatened by this style of parenting. We all wish motherhood came with a manual, well I think this may be it. I’m looking forward to reading her previous parenting book “French Children Don’t Throw Food: Parenting secrets from Paris”.

French Parents Don’t Give In is available at good bookstores and online. It is also available in eBook format for those on the go. For more information on Pamela Drukerman, her website can be found here at http://www.pameladruckerman.com/

I give it 7 out of 10 bookmarks

To dance with the black dog

Anyone who suffers from depression knows what this dance is like, they know all about that black dog that’s hopefully tethered in the yard. Sometimes he gets free. Sometimes he sits on the back porch, scratching at the door to come in. Sometimes he manages to sneak inside with his great big dirty black paws, leaving huge dirty marks on the nice, relatively clean floor of my mind. The Powers that Be help us all if he gets his great big, black body in my bed. Those days we’re all pretty fucked. Currently he’s sitting on the porch, working his way through the door.

I’m a relatively private person. Not many people know about my dance with the black dog, even fewer know about my breakdown and subsequent diagnosis with Borderline Personality Disorder. For these reasons – the taboo of the subject, the fact that I’m embarrassed about it as no one likes to admit that they have a weakness and the fact that it’s no-ones business but mine. Yes, it make for a lonely existence at times, but I’m getting there.

My recovery has been long – 18 months and counting, but I have fewer relapses and they are shorter in duration. I think the mindset tools that are shared as part of the 12 wbt is going to help. It’s important to remember that I’m not alone, that I’m not the first to go through this. I hope that. Y being open and honest about my mental illness and my daily wrestle with that big, dumb black dog will help someone else.

I am me, I am not alone and most importantly, I’m alive and ready to kick my weight and that stupid black dog to the freaking curb!

Neata

Why procrastination should be an Olympic sport

It is one that I’d be going for gold in that’s for sure.

I think I’ve started this opening post about sixteen times already. There’s a few that’s been deleted, a few that are drafts and quite a few that haven’t even got to the keyboard. I don’t know if it’s just plain old procrastination or if it’s the fact that I’m actually going to put my life out there – warts and all. Everything keeps getting in the way of getting started or maybe I like to think that. Procrastination at its finest.

I’m unsure what this blog is going to be. I’m hoping that I’ll end up with a few followers and can make it something inspirational, after all I’ve done the single mother thing, the mature aged university student thing and the full blown mental breakdown. I’m working through the whole blended family, mother to a recently diagnosed autistic boy, (soon to be) recently graduated Registered Nurse, chronic pain and mental illness thing. Oh, and the overweight/obese thing – can’t forget that.

I’ll be working my way through the Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation. Ultimate goal is about a 35kg loss. I’m happy with 15 this round.

I will share my ups and downs with my sons journey with Autism. One that frankly, I’m scared shitless of! Oh, there’s going to be some swearing – trust me on that.

I’m doing this while living with the Fribromyalgia, a chronic pain diseases for which there is no cure. So I hurt – a lot. Top it off with severe depression and Borderline Personality Disorder and I’ve got a fair bit on my plate. This isn’t a poor me kinda blog though. This is about how I live, not how I suffer. That’s not to say that I won’t complain from time to time, but it should be rare *fingers crossed*.

So jump on, sit down and buckle up – we’re going on the roller coaster which is my life *crazy grin*

Neats